Inside Leslie's Pants

Self-restraint and self-control is one of the most difficult things for me to accomplish. I’m ruled by impulse and the idea that if I don’t do it now then it won’t ever get done. But that’s not always true. Sometimes wanting to know so badly and being so curious can be a detriment. But I won’t let myself go and falsely reason with myself to be the “bigger person”. I’m tired of the apathy. This time I’m moving forward. Call this an epiphany of sorts. People’s behaviors over the holiday season, actually at ANYTIME, are an indication of where their priorities lie and where you fall in that category. When it seems that time and time again you’re not so high on the ladder, it’s best to lay off and forge your own path, a new one.

This is going to be contradictory to my previous post, but I’ll say it anyway. I guess what comes with a year drawing to a close comes a new one where you can start off fresh. I have to tell myself to stop trying when people obviously don’t care to change things and start tending to my needs first. There are other people out there willing to be there for you when others aren’t even remotely aware that you’re in distress. I’m only now realizing that I’m clinging onto the past and this expectation that they’ll change is only going to drag me down. I have to tell myself that there are others who are always willing to go that extra mile with me and for me.

Here’s to new realizations and new beginnings.

*And as a closure you can insert that overused, hackneyed quote that people spout out about people not making you their priority or some shit. You know what I’m talking about. It makes sense, but I am not going to quote it.